Today we’re talking about coping with overwhelm as a small business owner and parent. I have personally been struggling with overwhelm the last few weeks. Running my business from home while also caring for my kids full-time in the summer feels like juggling a lot of balls at once. I’m sure you can relate to having a lot going on at once.

As we get older, our number of responsibilities only seems to increase, especially once we have kids. More and more things get added to our plates and we really have to develop coping skills and learn to manage busy schedules.

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Coping with Chaos

Some people are better at handling the chaos than others. If you’re like me, you might not be great with chaos. You may want to shut down, just crawl into bed, and binge on Netflix. But obviously, we can’t do that when we have people and businesses that are relying on us. That’s not an effective coping skill when we have things that need to get done.

So here are three key coping skills that actually work for me to relieve stress and overwhelm. Frustratingly, they may sound cliche, but once you try them you will see how and why they are so effective.

#1: To-Do Lists

The Science Behind Stress

The most effective coping skill to relieve stress and overwhelm is using to-do lists. You’re probably thinking, “Are you kidding me? A to-do list?” I know this is nothing revolutionary, but there’s actually some really interesting science behind why to-do lists relieve stress.

In an article in the Harvard Business Review called, “Why We Continue to Rely on (and Love) To-Do Lists” by Vasundhara Sawhney tackles why to-do lists are effective. The article states,

“…People report on average having about 15 ongoing goals and projects at any given time. That’s a lot to keep track of, with every goal having its own set of milestones to accomplish. We also know that even one unfinished goal can be a burden, demanding our thoughts and attention. So the to-do list… helps us to offload some of that burden. When we write information down… we feel relieved from the need to hold onto it mentally.”

Harvard Business Review

So it’s actually a relief of stress when you write down the things you need to do. Our brains are working overtime to hold on to all of the information that we need and when we write it down, it gives our brains a little a break.

Here’s another article in the Harvard Business Review by the same author called, “Why Your Brain Dwells on Unfinished Tasks.” It talks about how unfinished goals can actually cause intrusive thoughts. It says,

“Basically, when we have an unfinished task, we can’t help but torture ourselves by recalling it over and over again to keep it in our short-term memories. Our brains can’t let it go until it’s done. That is why TV dramas use cliffhangers to end episodes.”

Harvard Business Review

That was a revelation to me. I personally cannot handle having too many things to remember and tend to worry and torture myself in order to keep them in the forefront of my mind. Additionally, I also have a very low tolerance for cliffhangers when I’m watching a show. I feel like, “I must know how this resolves immediately!” It’s so interesting that those two things are connected.

How to Follow Through

So making a to-do list will relieve your stress, but it also creates a little false sense of security because our brains think, “Well, now I don’t have to worry about that,” which increases the risk of not accomplishing the items that you’ve put on your to-do list.

That’s when you actually need to schedule each thing on your list using time-blocking. On days that I have a list of to-dos versus days where I schedule out what I’m going to work on each hour, I actually get a lot more done. So I know I’m going to be packing orders at this time, I’m gonna be at the post office at this time, and I’m gonna be working on social media content at this time.

Of course, you have to be flexible especially with kids and be able to move items around during the day,

Then once you check it off, you can genuinely feel the relief of having that item done.

#2: Fill Your Cup

The second coping to relieve stress and overwhelm is to fill your own cup. Having so many items and categories on our to-do list is really draining, and you cannot pour from an empty cup. So you must spend time doing things that you love, that are fulfilling to you, and that fill up your cup. Things that you aren’t getting paid for, but that genuinely make you feel like you.

Spend Time with Friends

Recently, I was feeling very stressed and I went to an old friend’s birthday celebration. We just went out to dinner, but I felt SO much better after that. I felt more like myself. Things were in better perspective. I remembered that checking off my to-do list was not life or death.

Hobbies You Don’t Get Paid For

And another way to fill your cup is to spend time doing hobbies that you love that you don’t earn money from. As for me, I really like playing guitar and singing. That’s fulfilling for me and makes me feel more like myself.

Go Outside

For some reason, I always fight this because it can feel like a waste of time when you have a lot to do. But whenever I get outside, I feel so much better. There’s probably a great quote out there explaining the science behind how getting outside and getting some vitamin D improves your mental health, but the fact is that it works. It makes life feel less heavy when you get outside.

Two of my boys play baseball. It’s not baseball season right now, but I always feel frustrated with the number and length of games and practices they have. However, I will say that my mental health is better during baseball season because I am forced to be outdoors more. Not only do I get that vitamin D, but I get time to sit and chat with the other moms.

I have come to realize that being outside and spending time with people is so good for me. Once you get that break and perspective, it’s easier to be more productive when it is time to work again.

Read More: Let’s Talk About Mental Health As An Entrepreneur

#3: See the Light at the End of the Tunnel

The third coping skill is to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. I also like to call this “The Finish Line Breather.”

The finish line breather term comes from the trick I use when I run. Somehow, I am not blessed with the running gene. All of my siblings love running and are really good at it. They run ultra-marathons and get college scholarships for running and I literally cannot run a mile. I hate running so much.

When I do run, and maybe you do this too, I set little mini-goals for myself. Like, “Okay, I’m going to run just to that tree and then see how I feel.” After I run that far, I reassess and realize maybe I can go a little bit further. Or maybe I need to stop and appreciate how far I ran.

Setting mini finish lines in your work can help you feel less overwhelmed by all that you have to do. After each one, you can take a breath and enjoy the success of reaching it that far. The light at the end of the tunnel motivates you to keep going. You can get a little bit further than you think you can if we break it into smaller chunks.

For me right now, I am focusing on helping my kids have a great summer. The light at the end of my tunnel is when school starts in two days. Once they start I can take a breath and feel accomplished that I reached that mini finish line.

#3: Talk About It

This may seem obvious, but that doesn’t make it any less true. Talk about your stress. Talk about it with your partner. Talk about it with your therapist. Talk about it with your friends. Talk about in any group, like a mastermind or business group. It really does relieve your stress and overwhelm when you’re able to talk about it.

Sometimes when you talk about it your stress, you realize things that your mind hadn’t thoroughly thought through when you were just ruminating on it. When you actually verbalize it, you sometimes have revelations and your thoughts become clearer.

Work With Me

If you are interested in scaling your business, or launching your own products, or maybe you’re stuck and not sure where to go next, reach out! I genuinely get excited and passionate about helping people with their businesses and ideas.

You can email me at rebecca@theproductsessions.com or click work with me to see pricing etc.

Links Mentioned

Harvard Business Review article, “Why We Continue to Rely on (and Love) To-Do Lists“

Harvard Business Review article, “Why Your Brain Dwells on Unfinished Tasks“